Happy and can't wait to leave for St.George,Utah!!!

Ok,this is gonna blow your mind considering what I said in my last blog,probably cause at the time I didn't want to admit it to myself.Larry was (is) my second first love,I am still in love with him and I have never stopped loving him.After all these years,my love for him has never changed.When he first sent that email to Caitlin,my daughter,at the time I didn't know what to think,I guess the mother instinct came out first cause here was someone a grown man sending a message to my 11yr. old daughter.Well after I got a message back from him saying who he was and everything,my heart dropped,that I couldn't believe he was still looking for me,by this time I was happy that he was still looking for me..So I gave him my number and he called and we talked,for about 3 hrs.He told me that he realized what has been missing in his life and that there was an empty hole in his heart that needed to be filled and that he knew what it was.Well the more we talked the more I realized how much he has changed, for the better.He did tell me that when he paid an attorney for our divorce that he never stayed around to sign anything,so since he didn't sign anything that means we are still married,I'm guessing,I think..If we are still married than tomorrow Nov.25,2009 will be our 11 yr. anniversary..Wow,can't believe it's been 11 yrs.Larry and I are getting back together and we will be moving to Utah..Oh forgot to mention that after I left him,he got baptised in the morman church,which really shocked me when he told me that,but I guess in a way it was good for me to leave him when I did,cause if I didn't he would have never found himself and he would have never gotten baptised.So,Hope I know your reading this and I want to say THANKS!!! We may have never been good friends in high school,but I can now call you a friend til the end...Thanks for listening to me or reading what I had to say.. :) I can truely say that I am happy now and excited.I never thought or imagined that I would be happy again...

Wonderful news!!

For you to understand what I'm talking about,I will start this off as a short story to where it's at now..When I was 4 months pregnant with my oldest child,Caitlin,I met a guy his name is Larry.We ended up moving to St.George and I had Caitlin there.Now mind you I had no intentions of marrying this guy,but my mom being old fashion had having a kid out of wedlock she kept asking me if  I was gonna get married to him and I kept telling her now,well Caitlin was born June 22,1998 and on November 25,1998 we got married.Well one night by this time Caitlin is 1 1/2 yrs. old, my mom asks me what is wrong and I told her that I wasn't happy and that I didn't want to be married to Larry.She was upset not at me but at what she did.Well she payed for my plane ticket back to Ohio and I left Larry without telling him where I was.Now I'm gonna fast forward it to today.Caitlin has no memory of Larry,she just recently found out who her real (bio) father is,and who her step-dad is (Larry).Well last night she gets on her FaceBook account and she comes in the kitchen and tell me there is a message and a friend request from a Lawerance Alvelo and she doesn't know who he is,as soon as she told me that my heart dropped...I stopped what I was doing and go read what he had said,well i emailed him back saying who is this,he replyed saying this is the guy that was married to your mom,as soon as I read that I didn't know what to do.Now mind you Next week on the 25th would have been my 11 yr Anniversary,which is what I thought considering I never filed for divorce due to I couldn't affored it,so for 10 1/2 years i thought I was still married to him..Anyways,I emailed him back and asked him just one question if we were still married cause in his reply he said he was the guy that WAS married to me,so the only thing I wanted to know was were we still married?Well I got on Caitlin's account this morning and he replied that he paid for an attorney when he was in Florida and got the divorce,after reading that,that made my day and a weight lifted off my shoulders.I'm so happy to know that I'm no longer married to him,and I can get on with my life knowing I don't have to worry about this anymore..:)

I really hate being in this situation!!

Once again we are completely broke and no way of buying food.David's whole paycheck went for Nov.'s rent.So,we have to wait til next week,friday to get food in the house..I really hate living like this,being broke all the time and not having money for food or whatever the kids need,but it's ok for him to buy his beer..I can't stand to be with him anymore,can't stand to look at him,really can't stand to be in the same bed as him.Wish I could just pick up and leave instead of waiting for the day I have planned to leave,it's not coming soon fast enough..